Hampshire Doulas

Birth and Postnatal Doulas offering birth and baby support and information in Hampshire UK


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Planning a positive birth

So now we established what a positive birth is let’s get practical with some tips for enjoying your birth.

I asked the Hampshire doulas for their top tips for planning and having a positive birth.

Here are some of their answers:

“Read Ina May Gaskin and join a Positive Birth group.”

“Being open minded, [make] informed choices and [make sure your] decision making … is respected. [Get good] Support. [Take] time to reflect/debrief. [after your birth]”

“…getting all negativity off your chest before your big day.”

“Don’t watch too many Births on the TV – Documentary or drama! they have been chosen, edited or staged by production companies and tend to generate fear. Know your choices and surround yourself only with people who love and support you”

“Read a good birth book like one by Sheila Kitzinger or Bump for example. Make a plan A for your birth but also make plans B C and D so you and your birth support people are all clear on what’s most important to you and how to support you if things don’t go as expected. Then put all those other thoughts to one side and focus on expecting and doing everything you have control over to prepare for plan A.”

“Read positive birth stories or watch positive births on Youtube or listen to positive birth podcasts”.

When it comes down to it we’re all saying the same thing, surround yourself with positive people, people who know about birth and how good it can be. Surround yourself with good support, people you can talk through your fears with and people who will listen to you and respect you and your plans for your birth.

People learn differently, some best by reading, some by listening some by doing, play to your strengths as you seek out information about birth and what it’s like but in whatever way you choose do make sure you get the information you need to look forward to your birth.

Talk about your thoughts and fears and plans about birth with your partner. Talk about them with someone who knows about birth. Go to a positive birth group or any other support group near to you and talk about it with other mums who are positive about birth (avoid listening to the horror stories that some people like to tell)positivebirthbasic get it all off your chest and get the facts and some ideas on what has helped other people and choose what you think will best help you.

This is what you get when you book a doula, someone who is positive about birth, who can help you find the information you need and who will support you whatever your plans and choices.

Put it all in one sentence: how do I plan a positive birth? Learn about birth and surround yourself with loving supportive people.


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What is a positive birth?

birthwithoutfear

As doulas we’re very fond of saying we support positive birth -because we do! It’s our passion that women (and their partners) have the chance to feel positive about their pregnancy, their birth and having and caring for a new baby.

But we also find very often people expect that we support ‘natural’ birth, or ‘drug free’ birth or home birth. Maybe that’s because we’re also fond of saying we believe in women and their bodies. So, let’s just get this straightened out. What do doulas really mean by positive birth?

I asked the Hampshire doulas “what do you mean when you say positive birth?” These are some of the answers they gave me:

“A positive birth is one where you feel you had choices and support making and upholding those choices.”

“Positive birth: For me means having the birth you wanted …whatever that may be and feeling like you were supported and empowered after the event…”

“Free of fear, supported by the ones you love…”

“Positive birth is one where you make your own choices and everyone caring for your respects and supports those decisions.”

The main theme is that a positive birth is one where you feel supported in your choices. Doulas don’t make choices for anyone or advise parents on the right choice to make. We find information when it’s needed and ask questions about the pros and cons of decisions so that the parents we work with can make informed choices and more than anything else, we listen. We listen to the whole story of how you feel, to what it’s like to be you and to why you make the choices you make and we support you to make the choices you want to make with all the information you need. Then we hold your hand and hold your space while you labour and parent in your own choices, we encourage you and we gently help you insist that the other people around you do the same.

So, doulas do believe in you and in your body and your ability to birth -as you choose. We know the things you can do to work with your contractions in the early stages of labour and we know that most of the time when the space around you is kept calm, quiet, dark and free from the feeling of being observed then most women will be surprised with how not scary after all labour and birth can be and how it all so often just happens. But we also believe that if you choose to have help of any kind with your contractions or if the situation arises where you need to make decisions that are different to your original plan that your informed decision on the day is the right one for you and we will support you to make that decision whatever it may be.

You can have a positive homebirth, a positive water birth, a positive birth centre birth, a positive birth on labour ward, a positive epidural birth, a positive assisted birth, a positive c-section. As long as each of these things happens in an atmosphere where you know you are supported and your decisions are yours alone and are the best ones for you made freely with all the information you need.